- Published Works
- Orphan Awareness
At John M Simmons .com it’s all about home and family. Of course the foundation of ours is a successful marriage and most of that can be attributed to my wife, Amy. Parenting, in our home, involves nine children, in all, and we have just entered the mode for grandchildren with our first grandchild. After three biological sons, Amy and I turned to adoption. The first was Jack, who joined our family through domestic adoption here in the U.S. Jack has Down syndrome and he was our first special needs adoption. As we moved to add daughters to our family of brothers, we turned to international adoption. Five of our children came to our home from Russia in two separate intercountry adoption forays. All four of our daughters were sisters before sibling adoption brought them back together in our home. Our time in Russian orphanages taught us about social orphans around the world and how important older child adoption is. We hope that time you spend on our family web site makes you smile, shed a few tears and then laugh out loud. We hope you find our pictures and stories to be inspiring and encouraging. We hope that by the time you leave, your faith in humanity will have been boosted and that you feel like you can go out and better your own life, as well as the lives of all those you touch.
Please note that under the “Blogs>>” tab there are several worthwhile categories by different members of our family.
In our blog articles, we won’t ignore the “natural fertilizer” that no one finds pleasant. I hope you laugh when you read about me falling in it. I know you will cry when you see it heaped on the innocent. But we will also witness flowers that bloom in its midst and we will remember that—in time—exquisite beauty can rise above filth, mountains burst forth from the abyss and mighty civilizations grow out of rubble.
You can also follow my writing for the Huffington Post.
If you are watching closely, at the very time it is hardest to be in tune, you will catch a glimpse of sincerity within RAD, and your child will thank you. Please read: http://johnmsimmons.com/rad-safety-reactive-attachment-disorder/
In the RAD cycles of three-steps-forward—two-steps-back, soon after rock-bottom, something happens. I’m convinced the change is related to RAD safety.
23 minutes ago
#SOS !! Please help the little girl to beat cancer. Milana 2 years old only, she has liver cancer. The tumor is growing at an incredible rate and she urgently needs a transplant, without which she can't live. This is a very expensive surgery, and her parents don't have so much money. They are desperate and asking for help from caring people. Thank you!
Hello everyone! This sweet girl named Milana, 2 years old. She needs our help! Milana has liver cancer, the last stage
Love make the heavens glow.
I really feel like I'm on the edge of a breakdown. Kellie is 16, Kylie 10. Two older girls on their own. All adopted. Kellie with RAD, Kylie with PTSD I'm sure because my husband died almost 2 yrs ago. Kellie on meds I'm on antidepressants. Kellie was in residential for a year where she got no help. She has been in counseling since adopted at 4. I'm sick n tired of the lies, stealing, and fighting with Kylie every day. I feel completely alone and can't...
One is the loneliest number...
How often do you find yourself rebuilding a RAD house of cards? Please read: RAD Rebuilding... http://johnmsimmons.com/rad-rebuilding-reactive-attachment-disorder/
While I hoped that her going back to work meant RAD rebuilding, another step forward, she just figured she needed to turn up the charm.
Brothers will always have friends.
Loveable, (((huggable))) wanted and needed.
There is much more coming from the study of Reactive Attachment Disorder than RAD, alone. This week's article is Beyond RAD! Please read: http://johnmsimmons.com/beyond-rad-reactive-attachment-disorder/
The fascinating thing to me is that the study and understanding of Reactive Attachment Disorder has gone far beyond RAD.
Bet it all and get a full house!
How big is your heart?
Does it ever end? Does anything improve with age? (THEIRS--- I KNOW about mine at sixty-six.) Can they work with a boss and a real job, ever? Is a diagnosis of Autism (DSM4 and 5) a cause or side effect of RAD? He came to us at five and a half months (had his physical needs met without one caregiver bonding) and is now thirteen. I will read this, all, thank you.
Fill your days with happiness!
Loyalty, in Reactive Attachment Disorder is an oxymoron. Please read: http://johnmsimmons.com/rad-loyalty-reactive-attachment-disorder/
Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder learn they are most effective at taking care of themselves when they use RAD loyalty; i.e. no loyalty at all.
#OlderChildAdoption. You know they need it and so do they!
OK I know RAD kids are a unique bunch with different ways of showing [or not showing] emotions; but I lost it this morning. My husband was it a car wreck last night and totaled my car, he is ok but the kids do not know yet I told my 13 yo when he came down and his reaction was to laugh and say dumb a**. So I lost it on him. Prayers appriciated Thanks
Hi John, well let me first say I have a 5 year old RAD child. There are not enough words to explain her in detail. Let me say that it is extremely tough to deal with the lies, minipulation, the triangulation, the bed wetting, the cold stares, the acting like she is a two year old that completely forgets how to speak when confronted on anything. She is a master of deflection and she can turn on the charm at any given moment. I will not quit on her no matter how much she pushes me away. She has pushed every emotional button I have and uses words to cut me like a knife. I married my husband in 2011 and boy did I get a surprise child to raise. My husband works very long hours and over 1.5 hours away from home. I take her to her personal councelor, i allow 10 hours of extensive inhome therapy and i deal with constant bashing from her biological mother daily. Yup you heard it right I am the "stepmom' putting in all the sweat and tears while biological mom sits back and does nothing. She hasnt been to even one therapy session yet she has 12 hours of supervised visitation every other week and its pure hell because her trigger still is in her life. We live in hell. When we start to make progress her biological mother does everything to destroy it. We are currently awaiting another court date to suspend all visits until we can try and stabilize her. Meanwhile biological mom drinks uncontrollably, has numerous different men, keeps taking away her pets, buying new ones as bribes. My husband and i dont know how much more we can take. We have 4 children together and we are foster parents to a special needs 18 month old with down syndrome. So 5 altogether. Any advice or just uplifting words would be greatly appreciated. And yes i have read building the bonds of attachment and when love is not enough and i search for everything on the internet about RAD. Prayers are needed for us and our family. Thank you for being here. It was nice to release a bit.
Special Needs = Special Bond.
Plant children in your life.
I love RAD Mothers, but it's time I said something. Guys... listen up! http://johnmsimmons.com/rad-backup-reactive-attachment-disorder/
RAD backup was the only thing that kept our marriage and our family together. When marriages fail, it’s because someone isn’t getting what they need.
Brothers for life.
Every castle needs a princess.
There's something we need to talk about. Please read: http://johnmsimmons.com/rad-sex-reactive-attachment-disorder/
RAD sex is something big enough that we can’t deal with it secretly, alone, at home. Sorry, I wish I could tell you otherwise.