[Emily had a setback recently and struggled for several days. She’s doing better, now, but there were some consequences to her actions. Because of the difficulty, we recommended that she write about something more light-hearted this week. We suggested that she might write about how much fun she had coming home on Halloween day in 2006. Emily humored our request for the Halloween subject matter and she references it from time to time. But apparently she thought that there were more important things to include in her blog this week… These blogs are very good and therapeutic for Emily and you will never know how much your support and comments mean to her or how much they help. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.]
First time I have Halloween with my Amarican family I have so much fun. I was a princess in the Halloween. [Emily and Annie arrived home for the first time on the morning of Halloween Day in 2006.] In Russia I never had Halloween, before, but now I do.
I never give up on my parents or my sisters or brothers.
Sometimes I feel like I want [to] be like my mom, Oksana, from Russia. It’s hard for me to learn. In Russia I run away or do bad things. I have lots of problems about my life. My Amarican family very strict on me but I still love them no matter what. I do still have bad behaviors like try to run away or hurt myself but another day police have to come and see what is going on for me.
But I need help myself and also I have to learn my responsible and my actions about my life. Before when I am in home in [location of a former group home where Emily lived withheld], long time [ago] I used to run away or hurt myself.
And also in Halloween [Emily’s first day home] we take some pictures on the porch. [The first pictures of all four of the sisters, together.]
But kids who never change to adopted from families they nobody taught them how to be good person. [Emily is saying that (with her experience in orphanages) children who stay in the orphanage and are not adopted, are not taught how to be good people.] I do love myself, who I am. Kids who not have family in the country’s [orphans in other countries] they not have a support or education.
But for me, I have to change to survive in the countries like Amarica. But in Russia I probably never taught to be a good person because nobody to give me love or support like my family from Amarica. But everybody needs love or support. Again thank you for government help Amarican parents to adopted me.
In the Halloween I give to kids a candy and so much [fun] to see that, give them a candy.
I tried to stab myself with nails and that not OK but I been calm, after, and everything OK. I will love to be happy all the time because when I make not good choices, always make bad choices, make me so sad and not make me happy.
But I will love to help to children who not have family because make me so sad about it. But [in] reality, everybody need help. Family always good for me or someone. It’s hard to learn for some people, like me. But really, everybody need help. But I love that my parents Amarican give me a good love and also take [care] of me. I love to spend time with my family.
I like Halloween because it is so much fun.
When I have freedom, make me so happy about it.
I know in Russia they never had Halloween.
I know that my brain, it’s damaged by my Russian mom, Oksana because sometimes it’s hard to learn for myself. I do love myself because make me so happy about it, my life. People who helping give me a support and love and care about me. Again thank you for my parents and government for a good support and caring about me.
Emily finds great strength in the support she receives from those who read her blog. Please scroll down and leave your comments.
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