When I was a little girl, I used to dream of a better life. I wanted to be able to have amazing food. I wanted to live in a warm house and have warm clothes. I dreamed of living in a house where the wind doesn’t blow through the walls. I dreamed that I wouldn’t have to beg for food.
It was hard for me to sign the papers that said that Maria and Vitale, my brother and sister, were going to be adopted. I knew I was going to be sad. But I also knew that it was going to be ok. I dreamed that I was going to have a family when I was a little girl. I dreamed that I was going to have enough Shelter, food, love, education, Family and clothes.
When I was a little girl I dreamed that if I got sick, that doctors would help me get better, and that I would have someone to take care of me. I dreamed that one day I would go to America I never give up and I was brave to come to America. [Emily was told that her younger brother and sister were adopted by two different families from the United States. Read this to find details that may help her find her siblings.] I believed that I would see my brothers and sisters because I had pictures of them and also I believed that I would see them for real I believed that I would have more sisters. [Emily is speaking of pictures we gave her of her youngest siblings when I first met her, almost a year before we were able to complete her adoption. I am aware of no pictures that she ever had of her missing siblings.] I believed that I would meet the sisters that were born after me.
I thought Vitale was Denny my brother that lives in Kamas. [When Emily joined our family, she mistook our son, Denney, for her biological brother who was close to Denney’s age when she was separated from him, but who would have been about ten years older than Denney.] I dreamed that Vitale was going to have a new family. I always knew that I was going to America I was 100% right that I could come to America.
I didn’t believe the people that told me not to go to America because they would sell my organs. I never gave up and I was always brave. When I was in the orphanage they let me talk to Natasha on the phone. I told Natasha to never give up about go to America. I dreamed that I would see Natasha when I grew up. I told Natasha to come to America with me, and we would be together in happiness. And I dreamed that I was never going to lose her. [Natasha is Emily’s sister who was adopted at the same time. She is now Annalise Natasha. We call her Annie.]
When I was a little girl I dreamed that I would be together with my family in America. I knew that when I went to America I would have Thanksgiving. God blessed my life because I got go to America. I am thankful for many things because I got to come to America. I am thankful for my sisters and brothers and family and love.
I am thankful that the leaves change, and nature and Beauty. [Emily experienced some very traumatic things during the autumn season in Russia. Leaves changing color can be a trigger for her Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.] It’s hard for me that I get scared easily because I change to new homes all of the time. I learn how to get new homes. When I work hard it makes me happy. I dreamed that my brothers would teach me how to ride a bike and snowmobiling, and how to make blankets. When I am stuck, my family will help me. I dreamed that I would enjoy happiness when I went to America.
At first I only knew fear and anger in my life. I learned about it. Sometimes I get mad, upset, frustrated, disappointed, jealous, happy, proud, to work hard. I would like to [feel] amazing and content. I feel like for me I want to be excited! I am grateful that I came to America and was welcomed home. I am happy that I came home with my family, and I love it, to be with my sisters and brothers. I never gave up on them. I know I deserve a happy life, and I want to be calm when I have bad behaviors. I would love to be honest and never lie.
Everybody attention !!! Thank you so much for helping 🙂
Emily finds great strength in the support she receives from those who read her blog. Please scroll down and leave your comments.
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