If our homes are built around effective family purposes rather than a beautiful presentation, there is no more shame in getting professional help than in calling in a service professional for a machine shop.

My Family Portrait Isn’t My Family

In the entry way of our home hangs a beautiful family portrait. It isn’t my family. Don’t get me wrong. The elaborately framed photograph, printed on canvas, is of me with my wife and our nine children. But that’s not my family. My family is not artwork. It’s a tool. I think that sometimes we forget that fact and such an oversight negatively impacts effective family purposes.

I have spent the last twenty-six years in a family business that thrived because we understood how to use tools. We pushed the limits of computer aided manufacturing equipment that we owned. Because we never gave up on finding new ways to stretch the ability of our tools, we created products that were envied around the world in places that handled chemicals and manufactured microchips. To me, building products and a company with those tools reflected effective family purposes.

Just as a well-integrated machine shop can be used to create amazing products, effective family purposes work the same in producing people who are the best that they can be.

Our machines weren’t perfect. And because we worked them hard, they required service. Sometimes they broke down. Once in a while there were serious problems with our tools and it took lots of time and money to get them functioning properly again. All of the machines in the machine shop worked to complement each other. Some were more capable than others. But each had its own strengths and was used to the extent of its abilities. Just as a well-integrated machine shop can be used to create amazing products, effective family purposes work the same in producing people who are the best that they can be.

Just like we should use effective family purposes in our homes when a family member struggles, our machines get constant attention, and even more when they need it.

You can tell our machines have been used. There are bumps and scrapes. Some are obviously older than others and it is very evident that while still valuable and useful, some of the machines do not have the same capabilities as others. We keep our machines clean and functional. We try to keep them at their best and we keep up on maintenance. But sometimes there are breakdowns. We are never ashamed when a tool goes down. We don’t try to hide it. We don’t look for a place to lay blame. Just like we should use effective family purposes in our homes when a family member struggles, our machines get constant attention, and even more when they need it.

If our homes are built around effective family purposes rather than a beautiful presentation, there is no more shame in getting professional help than in calling in a service professional for a machine shop.

When a machine goes down, we analyze it to see exactly what it needs. Then we tap our resources. If it’s something we can fix “in house,” we do it. At times there are simple repairs that require only minimal attention. Other times we need to call in professionals, just like we do in our families. If our homes are built around effective family purposes rather than a beautiful presentation, there is no more shame in getting professional help than in calling in a service professional for a machine shop. The goal is to have everything and everyone working as well as they possibly can. It really doesn’t matter what the neighbors think.

Putting presentation above practicality frustrates effective family purposes.

In today’s world, many families are not used as tools to improve people, but as perfectly presented pieces of art that are placed for everyone to admire. A bit of sun bleaching to a corner of the painting would be viewed as catastrophic. Nothing would be spared when covering the damaged area with new paint to hide the embarrassment while doing everything to minimize the number of people who realized that the piece of art was less than perfect. Putting presentation above practicality frustrates effective family purposes. When presenting our family for others to admire means more than the usefulness of our family in doing what it is meant to do, then family members do not receive everything they need to accomplish all that they are capable of achieving.

We need to use our families as tools to build what they were meant to create; functional and useful people. We can’t be afraid of someone failing to see our family as a perfect piece of art that merits bragging. Effective family purposes must be kept at the top of our priority list. Bumps and scrapes that neighbors might talk about should be the least of our worries. Those emblems should be proudly treasured as scars that we earned in some of the most important battles of our lives.

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