Special Needs adoption adds an element of inconvenience to families, but I have never seen an inconvenience that is so much fun.

It Wasn’t Just Our Family Adopting Jack. It Was Everyone.

It doesn’t feel like twenty years. Then again, I can’t believe how much I have learned about Special Needs and Special Needs adoption since 1995. When it comes to what I have learned, it may well have been a hundred years since Jack joined our family of five in what turned out to be our first of six adoptions, three of those having intellectual disabilities. I think that the greatest thing I have learned is that it isn’t just a family that adopts these children. It’s the whole community. Of course I have read about all of the meanness and intolerance that can happen to people with intellectual challenges. I have heard the “R” word more than I care to. We have even watched our children experience some things that I hope a little more education in our society can solve. But the negative is not what we see on an average day with our children. Take yesterday.

Special Needs adoption adds an element of inconvenience to families, but I have never seen an inconvenience that is so much fun.

Yesterday had a false start at 12:02 a.m. when our bedroom door banged open, blasting my wife into a sitting position. “It’s my birthday!” Jack loudly announced. Technically, Jack was right. It had been his twentieth birthday for two minutes. I hadn’t realized that he understood the concept of an actual day rolling over at midnight. I’m still not particularly happy that he does… My wife explained that there was still six more hours of “birthday sleep” and begged him to go back to bed. Special Needs adoption adds an element of inconvenience to families, but I have never seen an inconvenience that is so much fun. I’m sure I was smiling as I went back to sleep.

I had no idea, twenty years ago, that people like football team captains would also participate in Special Needs adoption as they took Jack in.

Jack loves a birthday, no matter whose it is. But of course, his favorite birthday is his birthday. During breakfast, he explained to my wife that he needed to take pizza for his Special Needs class at school. Amy made the arrangements. During the day, the high school football captain, Ty Jones showed up at Jack’s class with a dozen balloons, some root beer (Jack’s favorite drink) and two high school hoodies, one a special edition “Back to Back State Football Champions” version. How’s that for a high school student putting a dent in his budget? I had no idea, twenty years ago, that people like football team captains would also participate in Special Needs adoption as they took Jack in. Of course it isn’t just Ty. Coutnee Marthe took Jack to his Junior Prom and the entire junior class voted him in as Homecoming King. Jack’s high school, as a whole, believes in Special Needs adoption.

They showed up at our door with a dozen balloons and a special birthday wish for Jack, demonstrating just one more act of community Special Needs adoption.

Yesterday afternoon, soon after school was out, fifth grader, Jameson Wallace told his mother that he saw Jack during swim time at the school pool and that Jack told him it was his birthday. Though Jack and Jameson are buddy acquaintances, there was nothing that indicated there might have been more than a “congratulations” in order. Still, Jameson and his mom knew how important birthdays are to Jack, so they showed up at our door with a dozen balloons and a special birthday wish for Jack, demonstrating just one more act of community Special Needs adoption.

I just love that a young bride and groom had decided to turn to community Special Needs adoption when the honor of Best Man perhaps should have gone to Jake’s biological brother.

Jake Wheeler, one of our boys’ longtime friends recently announced his engagement. Yesterday he contacted Jack to ask him to serve as the Best Man at his wedding. Jack wasn’t sure what a Best Man was, but he’d do anything to help out his buddy, Jake. As he found out what his duties entailed, Jack grew more and more excited. He’s going to have his brother, Steve, help him out to make sure he gets everything right. I just love that a young bride and groom had decided to turn to community Special Needs adoption when the honor of Best Man perhaps should have gone to Jake’s biological brother, or even a friend who is more on Jake’s level.

How fortunate Jack has been that we have always lived in places that embrace community Special Needs adoption.

Of course Jack’s day wasn’t complete without making contact with the aid who worked with Jack at school in the first community that participated in his Special Needs adoption. Darla wished him a happy birthday, and since she is the contact point that we have retained in that community, half a continent away, agreed to pass on the news of Jack’s twentieth birthday. How blessed we are to have so many friends, from so many places. How fortunate Jack has been that we have always lived in places that embrace community Special Needs adoption.

Communities are so much better and happier when they reach out to people who have Special Needs, and particularly those with intellectual challenges. I can only hope that you will be the person who sets the steam to the pistons to drive the locomotive of community Special Needs adoption where you live. If you do, it will be one of the most enjoyable rides of your life.

Often, readers receive as much help from other readers in the comments section as they do from the blog article, itself. Please be generous with your thoughts and experiences in the comments section. There are lots of people who need what you have to share. This is your chance to help them.

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